Well, I can tell that winter is getting to me. I desperately need warm weather to get here so that I can send my darling (energetic) children outside to play. I don’t care how muddy they get or how many baths are required, I need them to be able to go outside. Because they are running tight circles around me and it is about to make me bonkers.
I’m praying hard that our house will sell quickly once on the market and that we will be able to finally find something bigger that is going to be just right for us. I’m surprised at my desperation in wanting to get out of this house. Neil has been the most anxious to move on for a long time now and I have been pretty content to stay put. That doesn’t mean that I haven’t wanted more space it just means that I was content in the knowledge that God has a plan for us and if He wanted us to stay here indefinetly I would be okay with that. I’m not sure when my attitude changed but I’ve found myself begging God on a daily basis to let us move into a bigger house. I feel guilty for even asking to move. If I look at the big picture, we have it really good. I’ve seen the squalor that some people live in and we live like kings. We have a sound house that keeps us warm when its cold and cool when its hot. My children have warm beds with lots of blankets. We are healthy and have food to eat. So I feel guilty for wanting more. And yet I don’t think it is wrong for me to ask. I think what is wrong is for me to become so obsessed with moving into a bigger house that I forget to live life right now and not six months down the road in a bigger, yet so far, imaginary house. So….that is my quest. To look forward to tomorrow and what God may bring our way and yet to be sure that I am honoring Him in the today and being grateful for what He has given me right now. I want my kids to have good memories of this house and to remember all the fun we had. I don’t want them to look back and remember how miserable mom was and how much she whined about how small the house was.
Well, I feel better. It doesn’t seem so bad now that I’ve gotten it off of my chest. thanks all.
