I’ve got lots of things on my mind lately. They get so jumbled up sometimes that I think I need a thought traffic controller to help me organize them so I can actually think through them.
Probably the biggest thing that has been on my mind is my pending trip to visit my sister in Germany. I have stressed over this trip so much. I want to go so bad and for a while it was looking like it might not happen but Praise God! I’ve got a ticket, a confirmation number even. So, I will be heading to Germany for 2 weeks in September. I’m crazy excited! Mostly because I miss my sis so much, I haven’t seen her in a whole year! But I get to see some of Europe! That’s pretty amazing for me. I never thought I would ever get to visit another country. I’ve always wanted to but figured it would never happen. I’m a little nervous leaving my family. I know that Neil is going to do an amazing job with the kids and I have really terrific family and friends that are going to help watch the kids while Neil is at work. But I’ve never been away from them for such a long time. On the other hand, I can’t help but be kind of excited about not having to worry about anyone other than myself. I’m going to take several books and puzzles with me, maybe some knitting. I’m looking forward to this adventure!
Another thing floating around in my mind is a struggle that has been building for some time but not real sure if it is going to actually go anywhere. I’m struggling big time with organized religion. I love my Lord with all of my heart but I’m so tired of Church the Organization. I want to be more of a part of Church the Organism. It’s sad, I think, when I get more out of chatting with godly friends than I get out of service on Sunday. I’m tired of the “everything’s perfect” mask that people tend to wear at church. We are supposed to be vulnerable with each other and build each other up. If we are honest with ourselves and others, there is alot going on in our lives. Each one of us struggles with sin issues and just life issues. But we are too afraid of people thinking badly of us to open up and be real with each other. And that isn’t to say that there shouldn’t be a basic routine or schedule that we follow because God does tell us to be orderly in our worship. But I want people to feel comfortable rebuking me for my sin if need be. And there is need for that sometimes. I want people to challenge me in the way I think of things. We know a couple that is just amazing in their faith and trust in the Lord. And God is evident in EVERY aspect of their lives and its natural. It’s not a forced thing it just flows out of the love for Christ that they have in their hearts. It blesses me so much to spend time with them and know that if I am in a sin or exhibiting a sinful behaviour or attitude they will gently and lovingly and with scripture, rebuke me. Our church is trying to become an official Evangelical Church. Which means there is all sorts of red tape and hoops to jump through in order for that to happen. I think it is important to know where we stand doctrinally and to be sure of our convictions but there also comes a point in time that I feel we are just seeking to be legitimized by men, when all we really need is the legitimization of God. I’m sure there are plenty of people who may disagree with me. I may be wrong, these are just some of the thoughts that keep me up at night.
Another subject swimming around in my brain is homeschooling and scheduling. I have my work cut out for me. We used to have a really good schedule set up and it worked great. Then we got off track when I went to school and started working. Now I have to get a new schedule figured out so I can successfully homeschool my children. I need to get my household in order because, frankly, its a disaster. My kids are undisciplined, I’m undisciplined and it shows in everything we do.
Unfinished projects around the house. I have a closet that needs painted and shelves installed. A bathroom that desperately needs remodeling, a kitchen that needs redone, flooring that needs to be put in, stairs that need carpeted and the list just goes on and on. Sewing projects, knitting projects, organizational things that need done.
Need to be exercising on a regular basis. I hate exercise. Hate sweating. But I want and need to be healthy, if not for me then for my husband and kids.
Need to be less lazy and more disciplined in the use of my time. I waste so much time, its really sad.
Need to remember to make an appointment at the doctor, perhaps schedule a mammogram. Keep forgetting (procrastinating?).
Welcome to the chaos that is my mind.
We went to Las Vegas for about 5 days in March and we had so much fun. It was a trip full of firsts. My first time in an airplane, my first time in Las Vegas, first time taking a taxi and my first time skydiving. It was so good for both of us to get to just hang out and really spend some quality time with each other without children. We stayed at Mandalay Bay. Very nice resort. Probably the closest to being “family friendly” if there is such a thing in Vegas. We probably won’t go back. It was neat but not so great as to make another trip.
